Embarrassment

I went to my JoJoba's FHE tonight at her Bishop’s request. He wanted me to talk to a woman in the ward from Bulgaria. I guess it was supposed to be a fellowshipping thing. I met Teodora and talked to her for a while, and then guy got up on stage and asked for everyone's attention. He called his girlfriend of two months up on stage and started playing the painfully inept song he obviously wrote for her. I was immediately embarrassed for him. I could see the proposal coming from a mile away, and a few thoughts immediately came to mind.

1. He obviously doesn’t understand women, or he wouldn’t be making a spectacle of the proposal in front of the whole ward.
2. He evidently doesn’t realize that his song is excruciatingly awkward, as is his playing.
3. He probably doesn’t realize that she will be crying herself to sleep tonight because of the botched job he’s done at this once-in-a-lifetime-dreamed-for moment.

Five minutes later, he is still clumsily plucking away at the guitar, and strumming spasmodically the verses, as he sings about some hypothetical guy wondering if he is in love with some hypothetical girl, and I’m thinking:

1. Does he think anyone doesn’t know he’s singing about himself and his girlfriend?
2. Does he realize that she saw it coming the minute he called her up there, and she has been flushed and embarrassed, staring at the wall for the last five minutes hoping that he will stop singing already and get on with the ghastly thing since he has decided to massacre such a potentially beautiful moment?
3. I’m sure glad I never played the awfully similar love songs I have written for girlfriends to an audience of more than one.

A few minutes later, he finally gets to the part of the song where he cleverly reveals that he was singing about himself and his feelings for her all along. Shocker. Who knew? At this point Teodora leans over to me and says:

1. This must be so shameful to her.
2. I would never want my fiancé to do this to me.

And the woman next to us says, “If I were her, I would say no.”

Finally, in slow motion, he finishes the song, goes to his guitar case and gets out a ring. He then tells her that he doesn’t have a speech prepared, or any special words but…..blaah blaah blaah….she says yes and hugs him, everyone claps, and then (this is the very best part) they get off the stage and walk away from each other! Holy Hannah! Do they even care about each other at all? That is just incomprehensible to me.

The whole scene really was like a very long boring nightmare. And the worst part of it is that despite the awfulness of it all, he will be married in a short time,

and I will still be single.